The spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD has anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound… to comfort all that mourn… to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified. (Isaiah 61:1-3 KJ2000)
Jesus read from this passage in His home town synagogue in Nazareth and after reading them he closed the scroll and said, “Today this Scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing.” Jesus came to bind up the brokenhearted, to set us free, open our prison doors, unbind and comfort us, but we also have a part in this.
It is hard to love someone when the things they say or do trigger bad memories of former abusive situations we have been through. Some of these offenses include child abuse, sexual assaults, trauma from wars, physical assaults, divorces, and abuse by authorities in the church. Sometimes someone close keeps rubbing salt in the wound that they may have caused and we become more and more reactive and closed off to them and others as a result.
God has had to go deep into my heart and show me areas in my life that were not healed and why each of them made it impossible for me to love certain kinds of people. He took on one offense at a time, showed me the past event in my life that caused it and how it formed a “trigger” in me that was reactive to that thing or type of person. Jesus also told me that He would never be able to use me in their lives until I was healed of those offenses (this, by the way, included over half the world’s population for I had a bitterness in my heart against women). I then had a choice to make–to let the Lord heal me or continue on in my bitterness, striking out at everyone that tripped my triggers. I had to face my own hardened heart and unforgiveness in each of these areas and call out for Him to heal me of all the baggage I was carrying from those old offenses.
As I though about these things I saw a picture of a hotel lobby from above with a main entrance at one end. All around its perimeter were doors that opened in to the rooms in the hotel. In the middle of the lobby Jesus stood, asking to be let into one of the rooms. The hotel was my heart. Years ago I had let Him in (see Revelations 3:20), but that was as far as He had gotten. The lobby was His but not all the rooms, because I had not given Him permission to enter most of them and take possession of those areas in my life. The New Testament says that we who believe are the house or temple of God (see 2 Cor. 6:16). With this vision and verse in mind, the following passage took on scope for me:
“Let not your hearts be troubled; believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And when I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. (John 14:1-3 RSVA)
Jesus has come to the Father’s house, and we who are His are that house! He is preparing a place for us and Father to dwell. It is a house made of living stones. “You also, as living stones, are built up into a spiritual house, a holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices, acceptable to God by Jesus Christ.” (1 Peter 2:5 KJ2000)
Bitter Roots
In Hebrews we read:
And make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned out of the way; but let it rather be healed. Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: Looking diligently lest any man fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; (Hebrews 12:13-15 KJ2000)
Speaking of the coming Messiah John the Baptist prophesied:
And now also the ax is laid unto the root of the trees: therefore every tree which brings not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire. (Matthew 3:9-10 KJ2000)
Our bitter roots that spring up from past offenses have to go. Jesus is after them. They are good for nothing in His kingdom or in His Father’s house. They defile everyone they touch. Each of our locked rooms has a bitter root behind the door that is festering, and its tentacles extend under the door and trip up anyone who comes near. Instead of the lame being healed, we trip them up with our open wounds.
This is the process God has been working in me. Jesus asked me to open my heart’s door to Him in 1970, and He came in at that time. In 1978, after dealing with a couple of my festering rooms, He asked if I would be made whole, or would I be content to be like the lame man at the pool, being able to walk. I could go on without my deeper heart issues dealt with and risk falling right back on my pallet by the pool, looking for a man to help me (read John 5:7-14). At that time, I had more faith in my ability to be lame than I had in His grace to cleanse me, make me whole, and keep me that way.
So, for years I continued to carry many bitter root judgments in my heart that defiled those around me and kept Him from using me as part of their healing. I did not strive for peace with all men and women, but subconsciously I often looked for buttons to push in a vindictive way. The wounded became the wound-er instead of an instrument of healing, and many became defiled. In the last eight months the Lord has been going after the other shut doors in my heart and it has been painful, but worth it. People who have come to know me have been praising God for the healing that is going on and the fruit that is coming from it. Praise His name. I know that He is not finished yet for He also showed me that there are more rooms that have yet to be opened and cleaned out, but the more freedom I experience, the more I want Him to leave nothing in me that is not of Him.
So often the abused become the next generation of abusers when we are not healed… and the beat goes on. In Exodus we read,
“… I the LORD your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me..” (Exodus 20:5-6 RSVA)
With generation after generation, sin begets sin. But wholeness also begets wholeness. It is in our holiness (God’s healed wholeness in us) that men see the Lord and as we are healed we break the cycle of handing on our sin to others.
When Jesus touches the latch on one of our doors asking enter and heal us, all the pain of the wound behind the door comes flooding up to the surface, and we bolt the door against Him as we have bolted it against everyone else in our lives who touched our door. It is up to us to not fail to obtain the grace that God has for each one of us, and to call out to Him like blind Bartimaeus who refused to be silenced, “Jesus, you son of David, have mercy on me!” In short, we have to become sick and tired of being sick and tired and sick and tired of wounding other people.
God has a new heart, a new spirit and even the mind of Christ that He wants us to have in us so we can be extensions of His Son on this earth. Jesus said, “I will not leave you alone. I will come again to you.” He comes to us again and asks to be let in so we can be healed. As Christ has freedom to heal us, He also gains the freedom to act and speak through us, and then we start bearing His fruit instead of our own. As His healthy body, we become a manifestation of who He is on this earth to everyone who wants to be healed. Jesus prayed for this just before went to the cross He prayed saying
“That they all may be one; as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that you have sent me. And the glory which you gave me I have given them; that they may be one, even as we are one: I in them, and you in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that you have sent me, and have loved them, as you have loved me. Father, I will that they also, whom you have given me, be with me where I am; that they may behold my glory, which you have given me: for you loved me before the foundation of the world.” (John 17:21-24 KJ2000)
How can we be where Jesus is? Where was He when He said these words? He was in unity with the Father and could rightly say, “The prince of this world is come and has found nothing in me.” This is where Jesus also wants us to be. He had no locked rooms that the devil had the key to. We don’t have to live in a house divided against itself. We don’t have to live with all manner of dead things behind the locked doors in our hearts. All He asks is that we open up to Him and let Him come in and heal us. He loves each of us, knows our end from the beginning, and knows that when He appears we shall be like Him for we shall finally be able to see Him as He is without our vision clouded by our former hurts and wounds. He does truly give us beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for our mourning and the garment of praise for our spirit of heaviness.
A Wilderness Voice 
Amen!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for your transparency in sharing your heart with us! The Lord IS doing a beautiful, healing work in your heart. His love is made manifest more and more through you, brother. The Lord is beginning to show me that I have some locked doors in my heart, too. May the Lord grant in us a full deliverance and true liberty, so that He can have His pure Bride.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you for your reply, dear Brenda. I know that our Lord is working in your life as well and I have seen a change in you in the short time I have been following your blog. I know that He is in the process of giving each of us who seek His healing in our hearts a full deliverance from all that is not of Him and is giving us His beauty for our ashes, His joy for our mourning and praise for Him that takes away all our heaviness of heart.
“Behold, the Bride has made herself ready!”
LikeLiked by 2 people
So very honest and deeply touching what you described in your testimony above, Michael. Your picture of the hotel lobby and its interpretation was really awesome, or in other words, God-breathed! 🙂
It is true that the Lord wants to make us see what has not yet been conformed into His image inside of us. I believe that He does not want to crush us by doing so (although it might often feel as if 😛 ). Instead, He wants to make us aware of a beginning healing process so that we might watch Him transforming all things that we still see as “black” and defiled, whereas He who always knew how He would make us look like in the end already beholds our beauty – in Himself.
I know how difficult it is to perceive something positive in my heart when He shows me another thing (“trigger”) that has not yet been healed. But recently I sense Him drawing my spiritual eyes away from that dark spot inside me unto Himself where the true picture of the new creation already exists. And while beholding Him, I see He made me beautiful in His image and I forget about the dark spot that is healed WHILE He has been turning my attention away from ME toward Himself. Indeed, I have no idea how that works, but it does. 😉 And it is very relieving for me to know that He sees us as beautiful – always. You, and me, and everyone else. I think we truly need HIS eyes so that we can see this perfect beauty manifested in our brothers and sisters as well. If not, I am afraid that we will never be able to love them as unconditionally as Christ does.
Thanks so much for sharing another part of your spiritual life on here, my dear brother.
Love,
Susanne
LikeLiked by 2 people
Susanne, thank you for bringing to light even more clearly something that I did not… how we become what we behold. If we behold Jesus in all His beauty instead of our own wounded selves and long for His transformation in us, “old things are passed away and behold ALL things become NEW.”
“Beloved, now are we the children of God, and it does not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is.” (1 John 3:2 KJ2000)
Love you and what you bring to the table for us to feast on,
Michael
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, Michael, great Scripture!! It’s all about beholding Him and thus becoming what we behold. For it is written, too,
“But when one turns to the Lord, the veil is removed. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.” (2 Cor 3:16-18 ESV)
Love you and love to feast on what you have brought to the spiritual table as well,
Susanne
LikeLiked by 1 person
I needed this message. I stopped half way through and prayed that any locked rooms inside of me would fly off the hinges and all the strongholds would be broken.
I want to be totally healed and filled with Jesus. Please pray. I am humbled and it feels pretty good. Thanks bro..thanks everyone for your sweet words of deliverance. God bless.
LikeLiked by 2 people
yes its like that girl in Germany says–its a process.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yup, that “girl in Germany” doesn’t miss a lick. 🙂
Thank Kenneth,
Michael
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for your compliment, Michael! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
This girl from Germany says, “Thanks, Ken!” 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
greetings saints,
Thanks Michael for bringing this forth. The first thing that came to me was, “Christ all, and in all.” No room for anyone or thing but HIM.
For me personally, it appears that my resistance to Him coming thru those various doors stems from not truly knowing His intentions for me. I have failed to realize that His intentions for and toward me are always motivated by love.
The deepest cry from my heart lately is for our gracious Father to really open my eyes to see and know His love, which takes me to the prayer of our elder brother Paul which I will once again offer to our altogether kind and loving Father.
May You, gracious Father, grant us out of the riches of Your glory to be strengthened with might by Your Spirit into our inner-man so that Christ may make Himself completely at home in our hearts by faith, so that we would be rooted and grounded in love, comprehending with all the saints, the breadth, the length, the height and the depth, to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, so as to be filled up with the fullness of God.
Unto You gracious Father, Who is able to do exceedingly abundantly beyond whatever we ask or think, because of Your power that works in us, unto You be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus, to all generations. So be it.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Great comment, Bill. Yes, that is what is going on, Jesus is making himself at home in our hearts and He is taking dominion over every room in His Father’s house (temple) which we are, by faith IN Him that His thoughts for us are good and not for evil, no matter how much His house cleaning hurts. The goal is for us to be rooted and grounded in His love which surpassed all knowledge and that we will be filled with ALL the fulness of God. The further He takes dominion in my heart, the more I am in agreement that it is all worth it and the more permission I give Him to leave no stone unturned until my house is totally His.
I love you, Bill. You are a precious brother to me. I hope to see you soon. I talked to Joanie this afternoon and she would love to have us show up together there this spring once again if that would work for you.
Michael
LikeLike
I tried to leave a reply a few days ago, but the computer would not let me. So this will be brief – hopefully pleasing the computer. Michael, what you share is so rich, and real. I thank God for the grace that He gives through you. Amen and amen.
Love in Him, Pat Orr
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hey, Pat! So good to hear from you. I keep asking Bernie how you are and no answer. Sorry about your computer. They can be a hassle. Thanks for your nice compliment, dear sister. Glad you were blessed. Hope to hear more from you soon.
Love you too,
Michael
LikeLike
I am always overwhelmed by your sincerity, Michael. Thank you for sharing this. Your sister, Anna
LikeLiked by 2 people
Anna, Thank you so much. Years ago I prayed that the Lord would do whatever it took to make me like His Son, Jesus… that I would only speak the words I hear my Father saying and only do the works I see Him doing. Well I had just enough time to say to myself. “Wow, THAT was a righteous prayer!” and He answered right back, “No, my son, THAT is only the starting point.” It was then that I understood Jesus words,
“But which of you, having a servant plowing or feeding cattle, will say unto him by and by, when he is come from the field, Go and sit down to eat? And will not rather say unto him, Make ready that I may eat, and gird yourself, and serve me, till I have eaten and drunken; and afterward you shall eat and drink? Does he thank that servant because he did the things that were commanded him? I think not. So likewise you, when you shall have done all those things which are commanded you, say, We are unprofitable servants: we have done that which was our duty to do.”
(Luke 17:7-10 KJ2000)
Apart from Him I can do nothing, but screw things up, but as I abide IN Christ all things are possible, because it is in HIM that we live and move and have our being.
I appreciate your part in Him, my sister,
Michael
LikeLiked by 1 person
Michael, i was not at all surprised to read this incredible blog on the heels of our conversation last week. Father has blessed you with a wonderful gift. You shared some things that encouraged me to give Jesus immediate access to, “every room in the hotel of my heart.” No longer will he have to stand outside those doors knocking because i choose to not allow fear to keep me in bondage and more importantly, to keep HiM out. i am excited about him, laying the axe to the roots of bitterness that sprang up and defiled many through the years. Heb. 12:15 “Make sure that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no root of bitterness springs up, causing trouble and by it, defiling many.”
i also realized there are also, “triggers or trip wires,” in me that i have set to go off whenever anyone, especially my wife gets too close. i have cried bittersweet tears the last few months and days as i have become more aware of Jesus’ loving determination to free us/me from these insidious and destructive roots.
The following are lyrics to two special songs that are soooo related to this post, “He Gives Beauty for our Ashes.”
The first song is one that Father gave to my beautiful wife a couple of years ago after we watched the movie, “Australia.” In the movie there is a little Aborigine boy that bonds with NIchole Kidmans character. And whenever they were going to be apart for a time he would tell her, “when I miss you, ‘I sing you to me.”
I want to sing you to me Lord, you are the music in my heart
I want to sing you to me Lord, you are the song that you love
For you created all of it, you put it right there from the start
The music in my heart belongs to you
Chorus:
It’s all about you Lord,
The music in my heart
It’s all about you Lord
The music in my heart
For you are the song
These next lyrics are from a song written and recorded in 2008 by Michael Booth of the gospel singing group, The Booth Brothers. The song is, “The Secret Place.+
The lyrics are so intertwined with, “He Gives Beauty for Our Ashes,” that when i read it i just knew that Father wanted me to include them in my comments. It is beautifully written and sung. i loved it the first time i heard it but not as much as i do now after reading this
.
“My heart is like a house
One day I let the Savior in
There are many rooms
Where we would visit now and then
But then one day He saw that door
I knew the day had come too soon
I said, “Jesus, I’m not ready
For us to visit in that room
‘Cuz that’s a place in my heart
Where even I don’t go
I have some things hidden there
I don’t want no one to know”
But He handed me the key
With tears of love on His face
He said, “I want to make you clean
Let me go in your secret place.”
So I opened up the door
And as the two of us walked in
I was so ashamed
His light revealed my hidden sin
But when I think about that room now
I’m not afraid any more
‘Cuz I know my hidden sin
No longer hides behind that door
That was a place in my heart
Where even I wouldn’t go
I had some things hidden there
I didn’t want no one to know
But He handed me the key
With tears of love on His face
And He made me clean
I let Him in my secret place
Is there a place in your heart
Where even you won’t go>
Bless you, Dorothy and all of our brothers and sisters who read this and are encouraged to allow Jesus total access to their, “hotel rooms.” You won’t regret it.
In HiM,
CHRkenIST
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Ken IN Christ,
Thank you for such a wonderful reply from your great heart. Oh, how I wish we lived closer together, but the love and Spirit we share is not affected by distance. I hope that when we get down there to Houston in May that we will get to see you and your family this time. Thanks for the good report and the lyrics to those two great songs. How often God has had us both tracking together as we grow together IN the Son.
Love you, my brother!
LikeLike
Wow Michael. This is pretty intense. I had to seriously think about, and will continue to think about whether I am still harboring any roots of bitterness etc towards others that might be hurting them or blocking opportunities to serve.
Over the years I have been fairly regularly accused of being somewhat brash in the manner I communicate the truth with other people. Part of the complaints accuse me of being purposefully mean spirited which I know are not true. That said, I can and do rub on people at times, largely due to the confidence I have in what I believe the Spirit has taught me and the willingness to confront what I believe to be error in others. It seems that most professing Christians have yet to graduate into “fighting the good fight of faith” and are still crying about how other people have offended or hurt them or attacked what they hold dear- even if it’s wrong! It seems that when I’m encouraging others to “endure hardship as a good soldier” they look at me as if I’m the enemy.
I guess what I’m hearing is this. I have to be a little more careful how I communicate with others around me. Sure I’ve been wounded too, but nowhere near the degree that some have and if I’m not careful I’ll lose the opportunity I might have otherwise have had in helping the very people who need that most.
We know its a fine line in preserving “the faith once delivered” and all that entails- all the while extending the liberty others need in forming their own convictions.
Thanks again for your willingness to be real among us all Michael
LikeLike
Michael F., thanks for your soul searching reply. It seems that we have to all eventually have to deal with THE Rock, Jesus Christ. Either we can fall upon Him and be broken, or He can finally fall upon us and He grinds us to powder. Part of what He has done to soften me up in my struggle to be His “man of truth” was to let me reap what I sewed for years. I sowed judgement and criticism to others for years and could not figure out why I was constantly being judged and criticized. Finally, one day I was telling my woes to a brother about how I had been so worked over by Christians in my life and he told me, “Why don’t you try sewing encouragement and love into the lives of those around you for a change and see what happens?” So, with the help of God I set out to do just that. Well, it took a while after I started sewing the “good seeds” for THAT crop to start to come to maturity while the former sewn crop kept coming in, but finally love and encouragement started coming to me as well. Funny how I always saw, “You reap what you sew,” in a negative light before.
“Do not be deceived; God is not mocked, for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption; but he who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. And let us not grow weary in well-doing, for in due season we shall reap, if we do not lose heart. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all men, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.”
(Galatians 6:7-10 RSVA)
Love you, Michael F!
LikeLike
Dear brother,
What a touching piece from your heart. I can relate to so much that you say here. I’ve also been deeply hurt, and yes, very judgmental too. It takes a long time to let go of that habit of seeing the worst in people. You may be right in your perception, but what’s the point? For the most part, we cannot fix people by seeing the speck in them and pointing it out. Most of the time when we correct a brother or sister it’s not a Spirit-led correction, but a fleshly reaction which can only hurt, offend and cause the brother “in sin” to sin all the more, and leaves a bad taste in our mouth and a bitter root in the heart. The sin in our own soul prevents us from having a clear vision of the sin in others as Jesus very well reminds us. Yet Jesus, who discerned all the evil in everyone (indeed, we are all worse than we think), never let bitterness take root in Him.
I’m glad to have companions in this very long and painful process of letting go of past hurts and seeking healing. I’m at a point where I’ve closed many doors to the Healer which were previously open. Too much pain behind them, and I need major heart surgery because honestly, I’ve had a major heart attack (or should I say, many minor ones?) and most of the muscle is dead. There’s just one tiny shred of hope that if the Lord rescued me from worse places and brought me back from the dead, He may as well perform the miracle again and remind me that He still loves me even though I’ve been a very wayward, stiff-necked child. May the Lord renew His mercies every morning and love us with an everlasting love which is strong enough to cover a multitude of sins.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Dear Carina,
Thank you for your encouragement. I started to weep as I read your comment. There is so much suffering in this world and I often feel the pain of those who write me. Dear sister, there is a saying that the same sun which hardens clay also melts wax. I am glad to see that you are aware of our need to pray to be free of our bitter root judgments against those who have offended us. I wish I had more to share with you. I have written and erased many sentences in this reply already. All I can say is that I feel your broken heart and am praying you let our Lord open those doors in your heart one at a time. Yes, it is painful, but the freedom and peace afterwards is worth it as He replaces all that pain with His love. So much love that we can even pray a blessing on those who have wounded us. His love for us never fails no matter what we have done to others or to Him. KNOW you are loved my precious sister.
Your brother IN the Son,
Michael
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you so much for caring, brother! It may seem like what you say doesn’t count but it really does! You don’t know how much encouragement I get from reading testimonies from other fellow sufferers who have been through the same struggles as I am going through, who have experienced the same spiritual deadness and despair, who have been hurt by people who were supposed to be healers of souls, and have not only survived the experience but found a way back home with the Father. I feel hopeful to hear that if it’s impossible for me to heal and revive myself, Jesus is resurrection and life, the one who can prophesy to these dead bones and not just restore me, but give me double of what I lost, as with Job. And I know that the prayers of brothers and sisters with genuine concern help a lot when I feel too weak to pray for myself. In fact, after a 12-day vacation which I used to catch up on readings such as your blog and books by other brothers and sisters who are “outside the camp”, I’m feeling slightly better. Mmm, that’s probably not accurate. I should say, I feel slightly less numb, but not actually better because I’m opening up a little and ouch, it hurts big time… But we haven’t been called to a bed of roses, at least not here. Please continue praying for restoration.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Carina,
Yes, we will continue to pray for your complete restoration not just to what you lost, but even something greater than before. When I was finally coming up out of my wilderness on the arm of my Beloved (Song of Songs 8:5), I asked the Lord what my walk with Him would be like now that this death was nearly over. Would I have even more prophesies and dreams, interpretations, visions, etc? He just said to me, that which falls into the ground and dies is not the same thing which springs forth. It went into the ground as a seed, but it would spring forth as something that was alive and green and growing and had a form that gave joy to others. I did not have a clue what that would be, but I think I am starting to see it over twenty years later after the wilderness ended. So take hope, my dear sister. The wilderness is not your final destination, but a means to His ends, the increase of HIS kingdom of which there will be no end.
God bless and keep you under the shadow of His mighty wings,
Michael
LikeLiked by 1 person
Amen. Praise God, perfect love (agape) casts out fear, because fear has to do with punishment; He bore our punishment, and we are new beings already of and in the heavenly realms in Christ. (He recently revealed this deeper truth of John 3:13 to me: only we who, in Christ, are already of heaven can return to it). Hallelujah!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, Deanna, the heaven that we long for, that Zion which is above, is only a continuation of the lives we lived here on earth IN Christ Jesus, for we must come into such intimacy with Him that it can be truly said, “we now live in heavenly places IN Christ Jesus.” In like manner we have another wonderful truth awaiting us to grow into…
“Beloved, we are God’s children now; it does not yet appear what we shall be, but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.” (1 John 3:2 RSVA)
Thanks for sharing what God has shown you, dear sister.
LikeLiked by 1 person