For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and has been tamed by mankind: But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. With this bless we God, even the Father; and with this curse we men, who are made after the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceeds blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be. Does a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter? (James 3:7-11 KJ2000)
Today, I had something happen that my heart is still smiting over many hours later. I got too comfortable in a conversation with this dear sister in Christ and the next thing I knew I offended her with the words of my mouth and if she had not felt the freedom to tell me so, I would still be ignorant of it! Well, after I saw what I had done and asked her forgiveness (which she did grant) I turned right around about 15 minutes later and did it again! God only knows how often I have wounded my own wife over the years!
There is a saying that familiarity breeds contempt. I was not trying to hurt this sister, but I just got too comfortable with our relationship and forgot that she is a tender child of our Father and that I needed to respect that and be sensitive to her for this reason. Out of my mouth was coming both sweet water and bitter. In one moment I was blessing her and unwittingly in the next I was hurting her. “My brethren, these things ought not to be so!” The conversation ended on a positive note with tears shed, but these things aren’t easily forgotten even by the best of hearts.
As I later prayed about it the Lord showed me that at the root of what I said was a reaction to things I had suffered as a young man… rejection by the young ladies I grew up with, especially the pretty ones. I had not forgiven them and that bitter root was still down in there putting forth its fruit even with one who has never rejected me in any way! Jeremiah wrote, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?” (Jeremiah 17:9). But we know that God looks upon the hearts of men, and HE knows them! He just wants us to see our hearts as HE sees them and times like these happen for a reason.
In Hebrews we read,
And make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned out of the way; but let it rather be healed. Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: Looking diligently lest any man fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; (Hebrews 12:13-15)
“Lord show us our bitter root judgments that we still harbor in our hearts from old wounds, that we may truly repent and be healed before many become defiled by them. Father, make straight paths for our feet and let us follow after peace and holiness (wholeness) with all men and women, least out of our fleshly ways the weak and the lame become offended and are turned away from You by our words and deeds. My Father, continue to do a deep work in my heart and let your Son’s ax be laid to the root of everything that is still down in me that is not of you. Amen.”
A Wilderness Voice 
Michael, I always appreciate your honesty and humility. May the Lord bless this dear sister, who has a forgiving heart! I’ve been made aware of a root of bitterness in MY life, too, very recently. I’m thankful for having it exposed, because we must be free from these things, for the sake of unhindered fellowship with our Father…AND with one another. The Lord bless you, Michael.
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Brenda, Thank you so much for your kindness and understanding. Yes, may the Lord truly bless this sister and her tender heart. She has been through hell on this earth and endured things that would have turned any normal woman into a man-hater. Yet she has become ever more loving and kind. Like a dear brother and friend or mine said just recently, “The same sun that melts wax, hardens clay.” May we all be melting wax under the influence of the Son.
May He continue to melt your heart with His love, dear sister.
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I can’t resist teasing you a bit, here this morning, Michael: to ‘get out of hock’ with any woman you think you may have offended, you just tell them, ‘Sorry. You see, I have always had a hard time talking to pretty women!’ That should do it – who could resist a compliment like that?!!
Holy hugs. Susan
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Susan, You are a classic sister for sure (I hope you don’t take that wrong… classic – like old car that is a collector’s item… see what I mean?). We have known one another for about 10 years and you have always had some great, yet very simple and to the point insights to share.
For me, the Lord has been showing me that He is after everything down in me that still is coming up with these things that hurt others or that keeps Him from using me to reach out with His love to EVERY kind of person He might put in my path. So, until this part gets thoroughly dealt with, I will try and remember what you just said. 🙂
Holy Hugs to you too, Michael
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Amen Michael. What a good word! We all do this, and it takes God to work the change in us! Great (and very timely for me) share!
Thank you! Cathy Morris
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Cathy, thanks for your encouragement, dear sister. Yes, faithful is HE who has called us and He will do it!
You are welcome,
Michael
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once again that last sentence says it all–let the Sons axe cut out the old and put His newness in its place!
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Amen, my brother!
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Michael, I am always curious when I see your blogs. Curious in the sense that, “hmm I wonder what Dad has shown Michael that will touch something in my own life.” As usual HE has not disappointed me. It seems that every time I open my mouth I offend my wife or some other dear sister. And believe it or not i even offend the brethren from time to time. I had to smile when I read what you said about, “the pretty ones.” I too have had that same problem. By the time I got to the end of this piece I was already in repentance mode because Dad had pricked my heart. Thank you dear brother for being transparent to the body. I love you. ken
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Ken, What a wonderful thing to say. I am blessed that our Daddy was able to use me in my soul searching to touch your heart. I think it is a good sign that a couple of big guys like us are able to be melted down by the tears of one of His little ones, pricked in our hearts and brought to our own tears for what we have done to offend them. What a great God we have! Thank you, Ken, for your won honesty as we walk together in His light. I love you, too, my Louisiana brother! Michael
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The phrase “a reaction to things I had suffered” has caught my attention. How did He react to the things He suffered?
Every once in a while my wife will say something to me that causes a visceral reaction to well up within me. I think He is trying to teach me to ask Him “where did that come from”?
He has shown me that He knows me better than I know myself – He remembers all the things that I have forgotten or chosen to forget.
“For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.”
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Rockley, welcome.
What you said is so true. God once said to me after I reacted intensely to something that I perceived a slight against me, “Michael, is there a Book of Re-Acts?” I said, “No Lord, there is only a Book of Acts,” Then He said, “Learn from it!” So as I thought on what He said it occurred to me that the Book of Acts was a record of the early saints who were moved to act under the influence of the Holy Spirit. They were NOT reactive! If the flesh moved without the Spirit they were dealt with rather abruptly. if their enemies rose up against them they prayed and God moved to save them. In obedience to the Spirit these few saints had turned the whole known world up-side down with the gospel of the Kingdom of God in a few short years. The church has never know this kind of phenomenal growth since!
God does not need our reactions. The wrath of man does not accomplish the righteousness of God. Like you said, Rockley, if we do react to something, chances are that God has put that thing there to show us something in our own hearts that HE wants to deal with and heal.
Bless you my brother,
Michael
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Dear Michael,
I love your whole post, your openness, your honesty, and your vulnerability, my dear brother! 🙂
And there was one word that really sprang out one me. It was REJECTION.
Rejection only comes from denying the pain in our hearts because we don’t want to feel it again. To avoid rejection we put up emotional barriers to hide behind so others can’t get to our hearts. Actually, we reject others although we might love them, but nobody should know about it. Rejection is simply the “hard cover” over a soft heart.
Our loving God who understands everything gives us His Spirit that opens those old wounds in our hearts and that is truly PAINFUL (keyword “triggers”). As long as we keep running away from the pain, no healing can ever happen. Instead, God will lead us into similar painful situations, again and again, until we give in and cry out, “Ouch!!! That really hurts!!…………. But I decided to keep my heart open and remain vulnerable so that YOU can make me whole again.”
And thus God heals us – completely!
Much love,
Susanne
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Dear Susanne,
Yes, my old friend Rejection. I think that I was so reactive to being rejected (R and R – and I DON’T mean Rest and Relaxation) for so many years that I thought I had a corner on the “Rejection Market.” Then I read that Jesus was also rejected by many of the same kinds of people I was in church circles and I found it comforting,
And he began to teach them [the disciples] that the Son of man must suffer many things, AND BE REJECTED by the elders and the chief priests and the scribes, and be killed, and after three days rise again. (Mark 8:31 RSVA – emphasis added)
You pretty well summed it up how God deals with our old wounds, “God will lead us into similar painful situations, again and again, until we give in and cry out, ‘Ouch!!! That really hurts!!… But I decided to keep my heart open and remain vulnerable so that YOU can make me whole again.’” In other words we must quit kicking against the Surgeon’s scalpel and let Him Heal us. He has to lance that festering boil and drain it of the poison within and pour in His love. Once that happens it heals quickly and the same person can come along and push on that spot and we will no longer violently react much less feel any pain.
My dear sister, I have read much of your testimony on your blog and I want you to know that the level of healing and forgiveness you have been able to walk in has been an inspiration to me. What a great God we serve.
I Love who you are IN Christ,
Michael
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Hi folks, for some time now, Father has been dealing with this (rejection) and other related issues in me. The message to me has clearly been that rejection will only take root in me when I have the expectation of acceptance. If I expect to be accepted, then if I am rejected, I _react_ accordingly. When I have no expectation of acceptance, the rejection does not take root. This is also related to what I think “my rights” are. Even though I know I have been ‘bought with a price’, the old self in me continues to think that “I have rights”, and hence I should be accepted… even though I also know that He told me that I could also expect rejection at the hands of men. Oh, this human nature is so corrupt… “who shall deliver me out of the body of this death – I thank God, through Jesus Christ, our Lord !”
Blessings in Him, Gordon H
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Gordon, very good! That was my delusion in a nutshell; I expected that the more I walked close to Jesus, the more accepted and loved I would be in the churches of men. So, the next mistake I made was upon discovering that I was rejected by those whom I thought were His representatives, that Jesus was also rejecting me! Finally, my expectations got the best of me as you so well said, my brother, and I reacted by isolating myself away from everything “Christian.” Well, God used that to further isolate me to Himself and deal deeply in my heart about these basic issues of looking to men for acceptance and approval. I finally had to learn that to be accepted in my Beloved Christ was enough and as it says in the Psalms,
“Trust in him at all times; you people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us. Selah. Surely men of low degree are vanity, and men of high degree are a lie: if laid on the balance, they are altogether lighter than vanity.” (Psalms 62:8-9 KJ2000)
Yes, Gordon, you make a good point. If we are NOT our own and have been bought by Jesus’ shed blood on the cross, what makes us think we have any rights at all? Jesus had the right to walk before men as the very Son of God, but rather He was obedient to His Father and became the Son of Man, a lowly Servant to all men on earth and lived accordingly, showing us what true leadership is in the eyes of our Father.
Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: Who, being in the form of God, thought it not a thing to be grasped to be equal with God: But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross. (Philippians 2:5-8 KJ2000)
The servant is not greater than his Master.
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Michael – a note on the spiritual aspect of rejection- Jesus was tempted in all things like us yet He was sinless. With us rejection,because of our sin nature,usually ends up with our pride being wounded and us not forgiving , by not forgiving we allow spirits of rejection and selfpity to harass us, and make us reactive as we yield to them , the spirits of rejection actually work at causing people to reject us. With repentance, forgiveness and REJECTING ( telling the spirits to leave) the spirits, we can be set free, As the spirits are exposed by the Light they loose their power of deception ( Deuteronomy 29:29 The secret things belong unto the Lord our God: but those things which are revealed belong unto us and to our children for ever, that we may do all the words of this law.) That helps us to resist those spirits , of rejection and selfpity ,as the Lord allows those situations , of rejection, to come our way. After they are exposed , by the Lord , our part ( with Gods grace ) is to resist, and bring their lies into subjection, as they send their thoughts our way .it becomes easier to resist once they have been exposed ( James 4:6-106 But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. 7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you 8 Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.
9 Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness.10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.)
your brother in the Lord ~ wayne
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addendum to the above post after some thought i wanted to say it’s not necessary to see or understand what’s going on behind the seen for us to do as the scripture says in the things of repenting ,forgiving and bringing our thoughts into subjection to Christ. as a matter of fact some people use those things ( spirits ) for an excuse, the devil made me do it , the Lord has shown me some of these things and made them very practical in my life producing change. if the post smacks of the doctrines of men forgive me ~ wayne
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Thanks Wayne, Rejection as I admitted has been a big one for me in the past and Paul addressed it simply when it came his way in the churches,
“But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged of you, or of man’s judgment: yea, I judge not my own self. For I know nothing against myself; yet am I not thereby justified: but he that judges me is the Lord. Therefore judge nothing before the time, until the Lord comes, who both will bring to light the hidden things of darkness, and will make manifest the counsels of the hearts: and then shall every man have praise of God.” (1 Corinthians 4:3-5 KJ2000)
This is good advise to keep us out of condemnation and to much introspection I would say.
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Amen! Thank you for sharing.
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You are welcome, Edith.
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This post truly touched me this day and is a reflective reminder to examine my own soul through God’s Word.
All of the comments here are moving and edifying. It brings me such hope to see believers so loving and encouraging for I have not experienced such in any church that I have belonged too. What a sad confession.
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Dear Ann,
It is good to hear from you and that we have been used to touch and edify you for the Lord. Yes, it is the same for most of us, we have had to go outside the “camp” to find our Lord and His loving input in our lives. But as was promised He has been here all along (see Hebrews 13:10-14).
Bless you dear sister,
Michael
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